No Climax, No Point, Not Even A Plot
by PaperCutVictim
Summary: After pulling an all-nighter, a sleepy Yui heads to the SSS headquarters for a Tenshi-free nap. To her dismay, Hinata has already gotten the same idea. Inspired by a Touhou doujinshi of the same name. *Chapter 2 Updated*
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Angel Beats... It'd be nice though! XD

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Ditching classes to keep from disappearing sounded like an easy enough thing to do, but as any member of the Afterlife Battlefront knew, it was actually a lot harder than it sounded. Goofing off outside of a classroom wasn't enough, not here. Even though Tenshi obeyed certain rules of engagement, she could still be incredibly persistent about getting them to do as they were supposed to. In addition, with her incredible strength, she was more than capable of grabbing any of them and dragging them kicking and screaming to class... which she actually had a few times. Thus, whenever an SSS member felt like an afternoon nap, it was actually a little trickier than it initially sounded to get a good spot. Unfortunately for them, Tenshi was a notoriously fast learner, and within the span of approximately a month, the libraries, the dorms, and the rooftops became danger zones to take naps at. As a result, would-be nappers had to think up different places to go to get their snoozes in.

It was on just such a day that Yui was wandering through the halls of the faculty building. She covered up a particularly big yawn with her hand, sleepily rubbing away the droplets that had been squeezed out of the corners of her eyes from the action. Last night, she'd hit upon an inspiration for a song she'd been trying to write and had gotten so excited that she'd stayed up all night writing down the lyrics and the notes, occasionally strumming them on her guitar to see how they sounded. The song was mostly finished, though still lacking a title... she was leaning towards "Little Braver", but she thought it might be wise to sleep on it.

Seeing how the sun had come up by then, sleeping on it was exactly something Yui had _not_ done. And with her sudden burst of inspiration floating away, and taking all of her usually overflowing energy with it, she was in dire need of some shuteye. Even in her tired state, she had at least been able to think of a great place for a nap: the SSS headquarters. At the very least, it was a safe zone, seeing how Tenshi never came to bother them there. Most likely, it would be a bit noisy, but at this moment, Yui felt like she could probably sleep through World War 3 happening right outside her window. Mentally patting herself on the back for her genius, she continued her trot to the familiar doors of the SSS headquarters.

Admittedly, it was a little unsettling for the headquarters to be so quiet, remaining so even when she finally got to the double doors. She was used to there always being at least some kind of activity in there, whether it was the SSS planning out another operation, Iwasawa-san playing a little bit of the latest GirlDeMo song for Yuri's approval (an event that sadly never happened anymore), or just the members goofing off inside. At the very least, the cute puppy toys that Shiina was so fond of would usually be barking in the corner the ninja often occupied. Today, there was nothing. She reminded herself that everyone was around the school, so naturally no one was here. That calmed Yui's unease some, and besides, she had more important things to worry about, like curling up on the comfy sofa and sleeping. It would also be wonderful to sleep knowing that she was in no danger of waking up to Tenshi staring down at her with her typical deadpan glare and ordering her to class (the last time that had happened was when Yui had overslept and Tenshi had gotten into her dorm room... if she was still alive, she would have said that had taken a few years off her life).

Given how much she'd been looking forward to her nap, it explained her surprise and dismay to see that the sofa was already taken by a body lying full-length on her beloved destination. The blue hair tipped her off on the identity, since she'd yet to see anyone else with hair like Hinata-senpai's. She tiptoed in his direction, cautiously observing him.

_Is he dead?_

Just as soon as that thought materialized, she saw his chest rising and falling with slow, even breaths. Okay, so he was napping. For a reason she could not place, Yui felt a sense of relief at this. She walked over to his side and squatted, placing her hands on her knees as she observed him. She blinked once, still gazing at him and silently studying his face. Thoughts flitted through her head as she did.

_I think Yurippe-senpai had a black marker in her desk somewhere... This __**would **__be a perfect opportunity, and besides, it'd be his fault for letting his guard down..._

Just as more such malicious thoughts were beginning to stew in her head, he shivered. Yui blinked again. Was he cold? Well... now that she thought about it... it was a tad chilly in here. He definitely picked a hell of a place for an afternoon nap, Yui thought. And it was pretty dumb of him to take off his uniform jacket and fling it on the coffee table...

Well, she definitely wasn't about to go roam around for a napping place elsewhere, she thought with a mental huff. Who knew where else Tenshi patrolled? There were always the chairs opposite the couch but they'd never been too comfy to sit in for anything besides... well... sitting. He was too heavy for her to move (not for the first time, she wished she was absurdly strong like Tenshi... if she were, this would hardly have been a problem). And... besides, she didn't really want to leave him out in the cold... and taking his jacket for herself didn't exactly promise to be warm enough (she'd never given enough credit to how body heat tended to make this room so warm usually).

After taking a moment to think, she decided on what to do. Besides, this was still her damn idea and she wasn't about to let Hinata-senpai spoil her brilliant plan so easily... Gently shoving him more into the couch, she laid down beside him, her arms wrapped around him to keep from falling off, and also to share their body heat. She ignored the fact that she was lightly blushing and her heart was pounding, and decided to close her eyes to sleep...

...At least, that had been the plan. Hinata had chosen that moment to wake up. He looked down at her groggily. "What the hell are you doing?" he mumbled sourly.

Yui opened her eyes to glare sleepily at him herself. "I do something nice for you and this is how you repay me? I could've just let you freeze, y'know."

"I don't recall ever asking you to do anything for me," he groused. Still, despite his whining, Hinata had to admit that Yui felt kind of nice. He wasn't about to admit it in front of her, but it had been pretty chilly, and the sudden warmth he'd felt had awoken him. And besides... it wasn't like he _entirely_ minded that it was Yui...

He cut off that train of thought immediately. "Whatever. Anyway, you're hogging too much room," Hinata complained. The back cushions were comfy, but not when they were practically engulfing him.

"_You're_ hogging too much room. I'm practically falling off here."

Hinata looked over, noticing that she really was. Even though she had such a small body, the couch was hardly big enough for the both of them... especially not if they wanted to be comfortable. Grumbling under his breath, he wrapped his arms around her and rolled over so that she was lying on top of him and he was beneath her on his back. Yui flushed at their intimate positioning, and even Hinata felt his face getting hot, but he disguised it as best as he could by scowling sleepily at her, to which she responded in kind.

"Wh-What are you doing? Pervert!"

"Don't call me a pervert, you retarded girl," Hinata growled. "And this is the only way we're both gonna be on this damn couch, so just shut up. That, or the door is right there."

"Hmph, this is the last time I do _anything_ nice for you."

Even though she had spoken her words unkindly, she was already settling against him, her head resting next to his. She swallowed hard at feeling his heart beating, and she wondered if he could hear hers beating at an accelerated rate as well. Still... he was so warm. And even though his body was pretty hard, she still felt comfortable. However, Yui wasn't about to let that show, so she managed to spit out a soft, "Idiot" before closing her eyes.

"You're the idiot," he mumbled drowsily, throwing his uniform jacket over her back and wrapping his arms around her. No need for her to fall off, after all. He'd never hear the end of her damn whining, and she'd probably kick him too (damn her boots). He focused on that so that way he wouldn't have to think about how she felt really nice against him, and that he liked the smell of her hair. She used one with a very sweet fragrance, and he always had preferred the scent from the fruitier shampoos to the other kinds, after all.

"You better not grope me in your sleep, pervert."

"You've nothing to worry about, since it's not like you _have_ anything to grope to begin with."

"Hmph. If you can't feel my absolutely exquisite body even at this range, then you're hopeless. Not that I want you touching me anyway."

Hinata decided he would let this go, seeing how he actually _could_ feel what she was talking about right now, and he decided that he was far too tired to do a damn thing. For Yui's part, she vaguely supposed that if she were conscious enough to actually feel embarrassed at their close proximity, she would have turned fire truck red, but at this point, Hinata-senpai touching her goodies was last on her list of worries.

Ignoring the niggling thought in her head that she wouldn't entirely mind if he actually _did_ touch her goodies was made much easier by the fact that her whole body was currently screaming for sleep.

Adjusting his hold on her so that it was more comfortable (for him of course, he tried to remind himself) he grumbled, "Shut up and sleep, brat."

"I will, thank you very much. Stupid senpai."

One headbutt, he supposed, wasn't going to hurt anyone. And so with one last rap against her head with his own, to which she responded with only a short yelp of complaint and brief grumbling, they closed their eyes to sleep.

* * *

_End_

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Boredom at work has gotta be one of the best sources of writing material in the world. XP

Y'know, I'm a big fan of the Yui x Hinata pairing, but it irritated me that I couldn't really think of anything to write for them! First piece I've written for them that actually went anywhere, to be honest... And yes, it really was meant to have absolutely no point whatsoever. Think of it more as like a snapshot moment, if you will. I chalk up the fact that I toned down much of Yui's hyperactivity to the fact that she's sleepy. XD Maybe I can hopefully make a piece in the future that can feature some of that, since Yui's energy was one of the selling points of her character to me. Plus I always loved the dynamic between Yui and Hinata. I was rooting for them since episode 4, to be honest! XD Would've been nice if we got to see some more moments between them though...

Anyways, if you've made it this far, please leave a review. Constructive criticism is always great, flames will be used to warm myself up on the chilly nights that have been rolling in. 'Til next time!


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Angel Beats... /sadface

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Hinata didn't think he'd ever felt this comfortably warm in his life- well... afterlife. Well, life too. At any rate, he felt very comfortably warm. He was also surrounded by a sweet, fruity fragrance that very much appealed to him. His arms were wrapped around the source of the warmth, which he held a little bit tighter. This was definitely the way to wake up, he thought. Although the moist heat that periodically tickled his ear was a mild annoyance, but he didn't really mind, and they did cause some pleasant shivers occasionally-

Wait, what?

It was then that Hinata's eyes flew open. He found himself staring up at the ceiling of the SSS headquarters. Cautiously, he turned to the left, the source of where the (he really hoped it wasn't but it sure felt a lot like) breathing was coming from. To his credit, he did not yelp at the sight of Yui's face so close to his. Rather, he froze in place, his brain desperately trying to make sense of what his eyes were reporting.

So. Yui was in front of him. As in, _right_ in front of him. She was asleep. She was (Hinata reddened at this) lying on top of him.

Looking away nervously, he thought to himself, _Well... that explains the warmth... and the... well... her um..._

_...never mind._

His brain kicked into overdrive, trying desperately to remember what had happened before he'd fallen asleep, and praying that what had occurred before sleeping was not anything like the dirty fantas- er- _**imaginings**_ that his mind was conjuring up right about now. Slowly, he forced himself to a semblance of calm and the memories came back to him.

He hadn't slept well the night before, one of those restless nights where he couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard he tried. When morning had reared its ugly head, Hinata had been in absolutely no mood to do anything besides sleep, but he'd learned first hand just how much of a challenge that could be. For instance, there had been that one time he'd tried sleeping in the library. When he awoke, he'd found himself being carried to class bridal style by none other than Tenshi in yet another display of her unnatural strength. He'd managed to trick her into setting him down, appealing to her sense of reason in that he'd end up looking extremely foolish if she took him to class in such a manner, and she had. That was when he'd tried to make a run for it, resulting in being seized by the collar and dragged to class.

To this day, Hinata was surprised he hadn't choked to... well... death.

...Then of course delaying his body's demand for rest was out of the question too, seeing how there was also the last time he had fallen asleep during an operation briefing since he'd forced himself to stay awake... Yurippe had practically thrown him out the window for that.

Given all of these unsavory potential consequences, Hinata had found he needed to be more clever about his napping spots, and he had simply reasoned that there was no better location than the SSS headquarters. Unfortunately, the brat on top of him (he tried _really_ hard not to think about just how wrong that had sounded just now) had apparently gotten the same idea. Sourly, Hinata narrowed his eyes as he gazed up at the ceiling. Yeah... she'd shoved him more into the couch, he'd woken up, they'd grumbled at each other until he'd decided to just roll over onto his back and have her lie on top of him (another mental whack to the head derailed the train of thought that was about to start up at that), and then they'd slept. It had seemed like a great idea at the time...

...Then again, lack of sleep had a tendency to make even the most harebrained ideas sound good.

After recalling everything, he breathed a sigh of relief (though he wondered why he also felt a little disappointed). Okay, so they'd both just been sleepy and, as usual, absolutely stubborn about giving in to each other. That made more sense.

...Kind of.

At any rate, it still didn't help his current predicament. His brow furrowed in thought, trying to find a way to escape this. Rolling her off and fleeing was the simplest method but... well, he couldn't really bring himself to do that. Sure, Yui was loud and annoying and overly violent, but... well... He looked again at her face, her expression peaceful and content as she continued to snooze. Hinata hated to admit it, but she was kind of cute right now. Just a little bit of course, because there was no way a brat like her could truly be cute, but... Yeah... a little cute.

Just a little.

Yui mumbled incoherently and sleepily snuggled up to him. Hinata's face immediately turned fire-truck red. Oh, this was not good. And her face was way too damn close, and there was no room for him to wiggle out from. He sighed, finding no possible way out of this situation... and besides, he really didn't want to wake her. Not out of consideration for her, of course (he pointedly looked away from her as he thought this), merely because he would have preferred not to take a boot to the face courtesy of one of her damn jumping roundhouse kicks. Nevertheless, he forced his mind into action again. C'mon, there _had_ to be a way out of this!

It was at this moment that Yui began to stir. As he stared at her with an expression akin to a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding truck full of trucks that was being driven by Optimus Prime, she cracked her eyes open to focus on him. A slow, sleep-hazed smile shaped her lips as she looked at him with... he wasn't sure what it was, but it was almost enough to make him blush (_almost!_).

"Hinata-senpai..." she murmured dreamily.

Instantly, Hinata blushed. _W-Wait a sec... Is... Is this really the proper kinda reaction?_

Unfortunately, Yui apparently had the same thought rush through her head too. Yui's dreamy expression slowly faded into one of confusion... then dawning realization... then shock. Hinata remained perfectly still, as if that would help the fact that Yui was choking on whatever she wanted to say, words failing her completely... and that she was staring directly at him. Her face was rapidly reddening, and Hinata had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't just embarrassment causing it…

_Oh man..._

Three...

Two...

One...

...

...

"_**KYAAAAAAAAA!"**_

At a speed that Hinata had previously not believed was possible for a human being, she bolted into a sitting position, her face held as far as she could from him and staring down with a mixture of embarrassment and fury.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-What the hell do you think you're doing?" she screamed. "Lecher! Ogre! How could you rape a defenseless, sleeping girl with your eyes like that?"

"Wh-What!" he barked. "What the hell are you talking about, you moron! I did no such thing!"

She pointed down accusingly at him, her finger bare millimeters from his nose while her other arm was held defensively over her chest. "You were doing it just now!" Yui shrieked. "You perverted senpai! This is sexual harassment! This is abuse of your authority as my senpai!"

He thrust her arm away from his face, scowling balefully. "_What_ authority? I have to remind you all the time that I'm your damn senpai, you delinquent little girl!"

"Don't call me a delinquent, you rapist!"

"Ra- How in the hell can I be a rapist, you twit?"

"You raped me with your eyes! Monster! Demon!"

"I'm not the one strutting around with the damn devil's tail, stupid death metal vocalist!"

She leaned down so she was able to scream in his face, "I said not to call me that! Do I look like someone who would put on a performance like that?"

Despite Yui gripping him by his collar, the only response Hinata gave was a sharp gasp while flushing brightly. See, the problem was that, in the current position Yui was sitting on him in, she was straddling his waist, and her most recent movement had caused a... _reaction_... where they were touching. It was... a really nice feeling... and the way she kept moving just-

No! He couldn't think like that! And why the hell wasn't this girl noticing! Was she really that dumb!

Apparently so, since Yui continued hissing acidly at him, wholly oblivious to their predicament.

"Um... Yui..." he stammered, turning increasingly red as he held his hands up in a placating gesture. "W-Wait..."

"Shut up! Don't interrupt me! I'm ranting here!"

"B-But... Y-Y-Yui..."

She carried right on, another movement of hers sending a jolt through his body that was at once enjoyable and also horrible because it was enjoyable (and he was in too much of a state of panic to even wonder if that made any sense at all). Another followed as she continued to move whilst ranting... Then another... and another...

_Dammit, that idiot!_

Unable to take it anymore, he seized her by her hips and forced her still. Her eyes shot as wide open as dinner plates, choking briefly on her shock. Yui flushed the same deep red as him as she stammered, "W-W-Wait! Wh-What're you d-d-doing?"

_I'm... I'm not ready for this...!_

"_**Has it not occurred to you that we are currently in a very compromising position?"**_

At that exact moment, they heard the worst possible noise: the creaking sound of the door opening. The two gawked at the door, the impassive face of Yuri staring back at them.

Yuri's gaze passed over them, her mind silently processing the information that her eyes reported. Two teenagers alone in a room. Highly compromising position. Messed up clothes. Equally messed up hair. Faces in dangerously close proximity to each other. Blushes (though those had rapidly turned pale).

Frankly, she could only have come to one conclusion. So she turned to leave, but before shutting the door, she told them, "Leave the windows open when you're done. I don't want the room smelling like sex. And don't do it on the desk, it's not as sturdy as it looks." The door came close to closing, but it opened again as Yuri poked her head through, her eyes facing somewhere about three inches away from them. "Oh, and um..." She turned a bit pink before muttering, "Sorry for... um... y'know... interrupting. Please um... er.. e-enjoy yourselves..."

The door slammed shut, and Yuri's retreating footsteps, a bit quicker than her usual pace, seemed oddly loud in the heavy silence. They continued to stare blankly at the door, the same appalled thought running through their heads.

_Yurippe thought we were... doing it...?_

They simultaneously turned bright red at this, partly from embarrassment, but also outrage.

_Now that's just silly!_Hinata thought heatedly. _There's no way I'd get involved with that little idiot! ...Well... she can be... kinda cute..._

And truthfully, he had admitted to himself a few times that she wasn't exactly hard on the eyes... in fact, he _had_ found his eyes straying over her sometimes... He mentally shook his head, chasing off those thoughts as best as he could. _Hell no! Not with that moron! No way!_

Apparently Yui had been following the same train of thought too, because when she whirled to face him, her expression was of pure wrath, though still dyed a bright crimson hue. "Why the hell would Yurippe-senpai think that I'd even give the time of day to the perverted likes of _you?_"

"Right back at you, shrimp!"

"This is all your fault!" she screamed. "If you hadn't been thinking of doing dirty things to me, we wouldn't be in this situation!"

"Dirty thing- Don't flatter yourself, you little brat! Maybe you should go sit in the corner and think about what you've just said for a while!"

"How dare you speak to me like I'm a child! I am a full-grown woman, I will have you know!"

"Yeah, with a body like a ten year old boy!"

"Why you...!"

In another display of speed that Hinata had not know humans could attain, Yui had rolled them to the floor and trapped him in a cross armlock, his arm decisively trapped between her thighs and her arms pinning his right arm against her front.

"I'll teach you to call me a child, you bastard!"

"Ow! Ow! Owowowowowowowow! Get the hell off me, you runt! Give! Give! Give, dammit all! Give! Grrr, I'm so going to kill you when I- huh?"

Hinata suddenly became aware of the fact that his arm was quite warm where it was, and surrounded by surprising softness. Judging from where his arm was, and just where that warmth was relative to his arm, it didn't take him very long to figure out just what the surprising softness was from. Yui realized too, staring down at the location with a scandalized expression and unable to choke out even the most vaguely coherent sounds.

_She really does have more than a little something... Who would've thought it would feel so nice... Absolutely exquisite indeed..._

Hinata would forever blame hormones for the second most idiotic thing he could've done in that situation (because the most idiotic would have been to cop a feel): he let his mouth do the talking on its own.

"They're still a little small... But I look forward to their promising future~"

Three...

Two...

One...

"_**KYAAAAAAA! JUST DIE, YOU PERVERT!"**_

_**

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**_

Even though he'd taken a brief detour to grab himself an ice coffee before coming, Yuzuru could not help but feel that maybe he'd come in a bit too early...

Yuzuru blinked at the sight before him. He had just entered the SSS headquarters, having checked his watch and seen that it was almost time for them to get started, but... Well, for one thing, he was used to always being one of the first ones here. Second, he was used to Hinata and Yui being among the last to come in. Third... he wasn't expecting them to be like this. Yui was sitting on the couch, her expression fixed in a miffed, pouting expression and her arms folded defensively over her chest, though he noted Hinata's jacket was draped over her shoulders. Speaking of Hinata... Yuzuru's gaze trailed to Yui's feet, still clad in her boots as always and resting in a most uncomfortable position on her footrest... which happened to be Hinata.

And by uncomfortable, he meant more for the footrest... the boot on the back of his head while he lay facedown on the floor could not have been comfortable by any stretch of the imagination.

At his entrance, Yui turned to him and greeted him a friendly fangy grin. "Heya Otonashi-senpai!"

"Y-Yo..." he returned. He looked down again at Hinata, who remained perfectly still.

"So... um..." Yuzuru gestured towards them with the hand not in his pocket. "What's with the... um... y'know... situation?"

Yui's friendly smile evaporated as she scowled down at her footrest. "Oh... this and that."

"Is... Is that so...?" Yuzuru decided he would leave it at that as he seated himself on the seat opposite Yui's. He cast another dubious glance at Hinata before looking back at Yui. "Er... Is it okay for him to be like that?"

The fangy grin returned, albeit with a touch of malice, considering that Yui's bangs created a rather ominous shadow over her pink eyes. "Oh, nothing to worry about, senpai," she said cheerfully. "It's not like he'll die, ne~~~?"

"Um... That's... true..."

Yuzuru decided he would leave it at that... And made a mental note to come in a bit later next time, in case something like this should happen in the future.

* * *

_End_

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So I decided to do a continuation... And I failed horribly at trying to keep it cute and fluffy. Instead, the fic just took a nosedive into a pool of crack and went off on its own. XD Who says stories don't have a life of their own? -_- I think here I made them a tad too aggressive toward each other, but I'll be the first to admit that I still don't really have a bead on how to write out their dynamic, despite the fact that its definitely one of my favorites out there. Of course, I could blame it on the sheer embarrassment, I think anyone would be aggressive if they were that embarrassed. XD

If you made it this far, hope you enjoyed! Reviews are always appreciated, constructive criticism is always welcome, flames will be extinguished for I've no use for them. 'Til next time!


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